Submissions are welcome and can be to anyone that you still love (romantically or otherwise), whether you still talk to them or not, whether they know that you still love them or not.
If you need someone to talk to, message me. Whatever's going on in your life, we will all get through this together.
Most importantly, this blog is a safe space. Absolutely no discrimination or hate will be tolerated, for any reason.
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I (co-admin) have loved this blog basically since it started, because I could identify with the "I still love my ex-girlfriend who broke up with me because of the distance" deal. So I'm pretty happy to be able to help running it, and to have the chance to post things here that I wouldn't post to my personal blog to not bore/tire my followers who don't really care about the mess that is my love life.
It's a pleasure to be here, and nice to 'meet' you all! ~ A
Introductions
Hi everyone,
I’m the new admin. I’m in college presently and have one year left. I love my friends and field of study. I started dating my first and only boyfriend in our freshmen year of high school…we are now in our second year of college. We’ve had ups and some pretty low lows, but we have made it work. Our relationship has been long distance for the past 4 years. I feel like I’m never truly whole without him by my side.
Ask me anything you’d like. I will try to be as awesome as K.
To new beginnings for my dear friend K.
K is leaving.
So, there’s officially a new admin, and I’m leaving. I’m sure she’ll introduce herself and tell you her story soon. Long story short, the girl I initially started this about and I broke up for good. I realized that that relationship was not working for me in any of the ways and am happily involved with someone else at my college, so this isn’t a space I need anymore. I hope that you all continue to find it helpful, and thanks for listening when I did need it and making me feel less alone.
Is it ever ok to be selfish?
You’ve been so busy lately, and I understand that you can’t talk to me much because of that. I really, really get that. I’m not mad, but I kind of want to be, because if I was mad maybe I wouldn’t be laying here alone, crying, at 2 am. Maybe I would have the guts to say that even though I’m doing my best to be ok with this and meet your needs, it’s killing me. I miss you, and I don’t feel like your girlfriend. I just feel like some girl you happen to love but can’t actually make time for. I can deal with temporary busyness and breaks from regular communication, but this has been going on for so long and I just don’t see an end. It’ll end temporarily when you come visit, but then this whole vicious cycle will most likely just begin again. Our whole lives are going to be busy… but does your life have to perpetually be so busy there’s no space left for me? I don’t know what to tell you to do to fix this because school’s important, I know. But I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending this isn’t killing me or how much longer I can keep making myself believe the truth, that this is not a decision you’re making lightly and that you don’t see other options. Do you even need me like I need you? Because I’m dying here and I feel like the relationship ramifications of this aren’t even on your radar. I want to make you talk to me because it’s what I need, but it’s not what you need, and I just can’t find a balance. So I’ll keep dying silently until you can magically find the time to fully listen to me.
#K
New Admin Request
In case you guys haven’t noticed, I have been extraordinarily absent from this blog for the past five or six months. I unexpectedly became ill and had a really rough semester at college. I should be back to posting more often. However, if any of you would like to be admins with A and I, message me. I feel like adding a third might help keep this blog running more smoothly. Really, as an admin, you just post whenever you feel like it and occasionally approve submissions.
I love you…I have since 8th grade.
We are adults now, still trying to survive the pain of the distance. I know you, you are my best friend. I know when something it bugging you and you avoid telling me because you think it will hurt me on top of everything else in my life. The truth is the worst pain I feel is knowing that you are suffering with your pain by yourself. I want to be there for you but every time I ask you how you are doing you lie. I hate this distance. I hate not being there for you, to hug away your pain.
I keep reassuring you that you’re not losing me, but sometimes I need that too. If I don’t feel like I can get that reassurance from you, you might be losing me against my will. You won’t lose me if I have any say, but you just might push me away so far that I can’t make it back.
Please, don’t be in love with him… Please, let this be just your friends mocking you for nothing… Please, don’t be with someone else… I won’t be able to take it. Please…
I miss you. I feel a burning, ever-widening hole in my soul because of your absence, and it only gets worse with each passing day. Three weeks, my love, and I will be in your arms. You will be able to soothe the pain and mend the tear. I can’t wait, for I need that more than ever.
Today is the worse day in the whole year for you. The hardest. The most painful. And I couldn’t even be there to hold you through it. And I could barely talk to you because you weren’t home, and even when we did talk, you just avoided the subject and didn’t really let me in, as has been your usual behaviour… so in the end, I could do absolutely nothing to help you feel better, or less worse, today. I feel like such a failure. :/
We’ve been long-distance for over a year, and yet we’re still stuck in this cycle of fear and fighting. Granted, there is more time now between that is good and peaceful, but I wonder if we’ll ever fully figure out how to be okay with the separation.
These past few days have sucked so hard. I know that you’ve been busy, and you have perfectly legitimate reasons for not being able to talk to me as much. But it scares me that each time we’ve talked over these days, there’s been at least one misunderstanding that almost led to an argument.
Sometimes I feel like I’m uncapable of helping you at all… You barely open up to me anymore, you refuse to talk even when I know you’re upset and ask you about it because you say I have too much going on in my life. Which on its turn makes me feel bad for ever telling you anything about it, otherwise it would be completely unfair of me to vent to you when you’re not allowing yourself to do the same to protect me, an when you barely have time either. But truth is… my mind and my life will never be too busy for you, I’ll never be too tired or too stressed to do my best to help you out, and I’ll never be too sad or too upset to care about you and listen to you and want to know what’s going on with you. I miss being close to you, I miss the time when we were able to talk to each other honestly… I miss knowing I could help you, I could do something, anything, for you, I could somehow make your days slightly better and/or lighter by being a part of them.
Why is it always when I most need you that we have the least amount of time for each other?
I hate this place that I’m at, not being able to have you, but still not being able to let you go and move on. I’m not even sure if what I want is to have you back anymore; I guess I’d be just as happy to just stop loving you and needing you. But I can’t. I’m literally stuck in the middle of the way, in the worst possible situation.
Why is it so much more difficult for me to deal with the distance this time? I’m sorry I keep bringing it up. I’ll just keep trying my hardest to deal.
